My Second Birth Story

My little Elliot, isn't so little any more! He's already 9 months old, going on 10 months at the end of this month. Boy, does time go fast... Anyhow, here is my second birth story that I had promised to write. My best friend is preggers now, and I've been promising to share this with her... Sorry it's taken so long, C. This one is for you :)

At 36 weeks, My OB asked me what I would do with my baby (Owen) if and when I go into labor. I had my nanny come in three-full days and two-half days a week at the time... and James's hours at work sucked, so often times, he wouldn't get home until 9-10pm. The Dr. didn't like the sound of my childcare arrangement so close to the due date, considering I was already 2-cms dilated and 50% effaced at that appointment. She warned me about what a disaster it would be if I were to go into labor with no one to be my backup while I was home with Owen (who was only 19 months old at the time), especially since second births are notoriously quicker (relatively). This warning would've probably been completely dismissed if it hadn't been for my friend delivering her daughter at home by herself with her toddler in the next room just a few months prior... My 36th week appointment left me super anxious... left me expecting to go into labor immediately. I prayed and hoped and prayed some more for the baby not to come until after 37 weeks, since this is a prerequisite to get into the birthing center.

Sure enough, Elliot came right on time! 37 weeks and 5 days, weighing 7lbs 2oz, 19in. long.

I felt my first real contraction at around 9pm on 10/25/12. I knew it felt different than the usual kicking and the discomfort that typically comes with braxton hicks contractions... but I didn't want to get overly excited about it until I was sure I knew this was it. The advantage of going thru this the second time was that I was able to trust my own instincts with more conviction. I also knew exactly how much energy it would take to labor through and push, so I had set expectations, opted to lay down to save as much of my energy as possible for the finale. Despite a bit of discomfort, I took a short nap around midnight and woke up to some stronger contractions around 1:00am. It was time!

We headed over to the hospital just a little before 1:30am and I thought we could walk there, since we were only about 1 avenue and 3 street blocks away from the hospital (though the walk is pretty hilly and kind of shady). As we walked to the end of our street block, I had to stop twice for strong contractions that were spaced very closely together. The walking made them come even faster, so James decided we should hail a cab. It was a 1 minute cab ride, but I was glad to not have to walk those short blocks. We walked into the side entrance into the Emergency Room entrance to St. Luke's Hospital since the main entrance is closed after a certain hour at night. They quickly let us in and I filled out some forms and waited in triage.

Triage, oh triage. I dreaded this place so much. Here is why: Triage was the place I was stuck in for over 3 hours during my first labor... The staff was so unpleasant and noone gave two hoots about my having severe back-labor pains my first time. They forced me to lay on my back despite the backlabor pain. I hated Triage. I hated Triage. The first time around....

FORTUNATELY enough, my second labor experience was not as unbearable. It wasn't great, but I was determined to just stay on my butt still for 20 minutes no matter how excruciating the pain got. I was determined to gain entry into that birthing center ASAP (Damnit!) so I could move the labor along without the heartache and stress that I had experienced the first time around.

The resident who checked and monitored me was sweet but she obviously didnt know what she was doing. That was annoying, and I could have easily freaked (I definitely would've freaked if it was my first time), but I stayed calm and kept a smile on my face and decided to laugh thru the tribulation. As she checked to see how dilated I was, she said I was 6cm but had a confused look on her face. Ok, lady. Are you sure I'm 6cms? Now what? Let me into the birthing center now!! (please?) It took her a good 10 minutes or so to get another more senior doctor to come check me. I don't really like having to get checked out twice, if it's unnecessary, you know... Alas, the second doctor confirmed I was indeed 6cms... and I was immediately wheeled over into the birthing center. YES!!!!! SUCCESS!!!

Now, to provide some context into my philosophy on birthing.... I am 100% for the natural, drug-free birth, where ever and when ever it is possible. I truly do believe that women have been severely misinformed about birthing in our culture. We've been conditioned to believe that giving birth with medical intervention should be an obvious choice. Some even believe that women who choose to do without being medicated are crazy to 'want' to subject themselves to the pain of child birth. Women like me who actively seek and endure a natural birth are not crazy. In fact, most moms I have spoken to go into the labor & delivery room with birthing plans that outline how they would like to birth with minimal/no intervention.

Up until the 32nd week of my first pregnancy with Owen, I was of the school of thought that birthing naturally is only for the insane. Sure, minimal intervention is great. But the trade-off of being in excruciating pain vs. not so much pain.... hmmm...not a tough choice to decide between the two, especially when the contractions start to onset..

But here are a few things I considered when I decided to go natural:

• Fear of intervention: Intervention often leads to more intervention. Epidurals slow down labor, so if you get one too early on, labor may not progress "fast enough" in which case, you may be pushed to accept a dose (or more) of pitocin. That's already two kinds of drugs I didn't want to put into my body in the first place. I was ultimately trying to avoid getting a c-section, when I decided to go natural.
• Birthing is Natural: The process of laboring & delivering is not an illness! Giving birth is a natural process. The woman's body knows better than modern medicine when it comes to knowing what should happen next. My body was wise enough to grow and facilitate life for my baby. I'm sure it will tell me how to deliver that baby better than science can.
• Instinct: I could push on my own terms. I don't need a doctor to tell me when to push, when not to push based on what a monitor on the screen is telling her (though I have to say, right at the end when you're crowning, it definitely helps to listen to your doctor when they tell you not to push).
• Mobility: I liked the idea of not being tied down to machines. I'm a firm believer that when it comes to laboring, laying down on a bed isnt the optimal position. The baby is constantly moving around, even more so during the actual labor. How can I be at my most comfortable position when I'm stuck on a bed? I felt the most comfortable when I was free to move about. Sometimes walking worked best.. some times sitting.... and other times, laying down... having a natural birth allowed me to be able to move about freely depending on how the baby led.

... these among many other reasons for why I was so adamant about doing it naturally the second time around too.

Once I managed to get accepted into the birthing center, I just took in each contraction and applauded myself after each one for overcoming. James did a great job at coaching me through it too, especially during the transition phase when I was shaking and shivering... (luckily, not all women have this shaky painful reaction to the contractions). At around 5am, I felt the need to bear down. This labor was exponentially shorter than my first, so I kept asking... "THIS IS IT? No, It can't be...Are you sure the baby's going to be here now??" haha.. I guess this was the first time I actually questioned myself. I was told that I was laughing through the whole thing and the nurses thought it was hilarious that I was still laughing, just before I had to push.

I hate pushing. I'm a bad pusher. If there is one thing in life that I suck at, it is pushing. I don't understand it when some of my girlfriends say they pushed twice and the baby just came out. It took me an hour and a half the first time. The second time, It took me 30-minutes. It was a long 30-minutes. I was very glad when it was over.

And then the moment came. Baby entered the world, Daddy cut the cord and Baby Elliot was placed onto my belly, into my arms! There really isn't any feeling like that in the world. I don't think there is a word for the kind of thing. It's beyond euphoric and it's a feeling you can never forget. In that moment, everything is magnificent, beautiful, perfect... so perfect!

Live from the Mothers Lounge

Most of my days in the office are jam packed with meetings and/or intense work sessions in front of the computer. During my breaks, I come down here to the Mother's Lounge at work to pump the milk Elliot will be drinking the next day.

Lactating moms are advised to relax in a dark room, with a photo or video of their baby as this helps you reach the optimal output.

These are the photos of Elliot and Owen that I am looking thru today.

I'm back!

Since soooo much as happened since my last post, I'm a little lost on what I should cover in my "comeback" post.

I guess a re-introduction and a little background story on where I am now might be in order at this point. 

Hi, I'm a mom of two boys. I am currently living on the upper west side of manhattan. My two boys are twenty (20!) months apart. I found out I was pregnant with my second boy (Elliot), just as I was coming back home from my first (Owen) boy's 1st birthday party. Elliot was born in late October of 2011 at St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital in NYC at the hospital's Birthing Center (The only Birthing Center at a hospital in NYC). We had a natural delivery, as planned. It was relatively "easy" compared to my first birth experience with Owen. I'll write about it in a future post, since my first birthing story seemed to be one that many of my mommy/expecting friends have referred back to.

I've also just returned to work from a four-month maternity leave. I'm not sure how much I like being back just yet. Still adjusting to the schedule.

Elliot is also not sleeping thru the night. He gets up at odd hours during the night and starts giggling and laughing, just wanting to play. This is likely the source of the dark bags under my eyes these days. He's a sweet baby. Not an "easy" one by any means, but his cries are soft (usually) and he laughs a lot. He's got a little dimple on his left cheek and it melts my heart every time I see him smile :)

Owen enjoys the outdoors, no matter how cold, rainy, snowy, or windy it is. We try to take him to the park, even on the gloomy days, just so he can get some fun outdoors time. He really loves animals and drawing & painting and he loves to sing and dance (and hum). He talks nonstop and is constantly learning new words to put together into 3-4 word sentences. I couldn't be more proud of how he's grown!

We moved down to the city nearly a year ago for my husband's job. His hours were getting long and he rarely had a chance to see the kids, so we moved down to the upper west side. I was quite hesitant about the move at first (I'm a suburban gal at heart) but we've since come to LOVE and adore living in Manhattan. There are soooo many resources and activities for kids here, the choices are endless and top notch! The only downside is the space (or the lack thereof), and the pre-school admissions process (which I'm already pretty behind in). 

Over the next few months, we'll have a few pretty exciting things to write about:

-Owen's first birthday party at a FARM (he's going to loveee it!)

-Elliot is starting his solids (I'm planning to introduce him this weekend!)

-Owen's first visit to the dentist

-NYC Pre-school Application Process (eek!)

Til next time!

First Halloween as a Family of 3

Hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween!

We had a great time dressing up. Owen's costume was a little big on him, so daddy put his sewing skills to use and altered his sleeves & pants and cropped the hat to fit a bit more snug. He did a great job, wouldnt you say?

I was supposed to dress up as the princess, but the costume I ordered in a small didn't fit me (my body has been upgraded to a fabulous medium since my pregnancy with owen), so just decided to be marge this year. :)

8 months, scheesh that was fast!

The past month was quite an eventful one for master owen with many "firsts" to add to the list..
-first airplane ride over to the west coast and back (which went relatively smoothly)
-first road trip (LA to Grand Canyon to LasVegas which went ok- it was kind of stressful for both of us at times, but we made it!)
-first time standing on his own
-first time eating finger foods (like cheerios & yogurt bites)
-first two bottom teeth came out (they look like little white chiclets :) )
....and first time to NOT sleep thru the night since he was 6 weeks old. BIG SAD (tired) FACE.

I hate to put emphasis on the bad, over all of the many GOOD things that this month has brought about... but I have to be honest. I am most certainly EXHAUSTED from the lack of rest from this past month.

O's been a great sleeper up to this point so I just dont know what happened. we even made a trip to the doctor to see if everything was okay, because the night-wakings were so sudden and so consistent. The doctors said everything looked fine and concluded that it must be teething. Everyone always says it's teething, or that the baby is about to hit a milestone, which very well might be the case because he's doing something new every day. BUT, I really wish there was a remedy to make the unpredictable sleep patterns go away. A lot of moms tell me, "it will pass" and I'm sure it will.... well, I'm not SURE that it will.. but I hope that it will.

What's even scarier is that I feel as though the sleep patterns are even more erratic these days. Sometimes during the night, he'll rile himself up so much that he'll be wide-awake for two-three hour stretches. I dont know whether to let him play or to just rock him back to sleep. Rocking is what I've been doing, but my wrists, arms and back have been paying the terrible price as a result. Ultimately, if this is just a stage, I'm okay with that. My limbs will heal themselves. I just really hope I'm not doing anything to encourage and/or reinforce these terrible sleep patterns.

Has anyone else gone thru a sudden change in sleep habits for over a month-long period of time? Any advice to share? What am I doing wrong, and what am I doing right?

Also, I'm wondering... for those who have tried any variation of the "cry-it-out" method, do you still let them cry it out when they are teething or when they seem to be extra needy?