My Second Birth Story

My little Elliot, isn't so little any more! He's already 9 months old, going on 10 months at the end of this month. Boy, does time go fast... Anyhow, here is my second birth story that I had promised to write. My best friend is preggers now, and I've been promising to share this with her... Sorry it's taken so long, C. This one is for you :)

At 36 weeks, My OB asked me what I would do with my baby (Owen) if and when I go into labor. I had my nanny come in three-full days and two-half days a week at the time... and James's hours at work sucked, so often times, he wouldn't get home until 9-10pm. The Dr. didn't like the sound of my childcare arrangement so close to the due date, considering I was already 2-cms dilated and 50% effaced at that appointment. She warned me about what a disaster it would be if I were to go into labor with no one to be my backup while I was home with Owen (who was only 19 months old at the time), especially since second births are notoriously quicker (relatively). This warning would've probably been completely dismissed if it hadn't been for my friend delivering her daughter at home by herself with her toddler in the next room just a few months prior... My 36th week appointment left me super anxious... left me expecting to go into labor immediately. I prayed and hoped and prayed some more for the baby not to come until after 37 weeks, since this is a prerequisite to get into the birthing center.

Sure enough, Elliot came right on time! 37 weeks and 5 days, weighing 7lbs 2oz, 19in. long.

I felt my first real contraction at around 9pm on 10/25/12. I knew it felt different than the usual kicking and the discomfort that typically comes with braxton hicks contractions... but I didn't want to get overly excited about it until I was sure I knew this was it. The advantage of going thru this the second time was that I was able to trust my own instincts with more conviction. I also knew exactly how much energy it would take to labor through and push, so I had set expectations, opted to lay down to save as much of my energy as possible for the finale. Despite a bit of discomfort, I took a short nap around midnight and woke up to some stronger contractions around 1:00am. It was time!

We headed over to the hospital just a little before 1:30am and I thought we could walk there, since we were only about 1 avenue and 3 street blocks away from the hospital (though the walk is pretty hilly and kind of shady). As we walked to the end of our street block, I had to stop twice for strong contractions that were spaced very closely together. The walking made them come even faster, so James decided we should hail a cab. It was a 1 minute cab ride, but I was glad to not have to walk those short blocks. We walked into the side entrance into the Emergency Room entrance to St. Luke's Hospital since the main entrance is closed after a certain hour at night. They quickly let us in and I filled out some forms and waited in triage.

Triage, oh triage. I dreaded this place so much. Here is why: Triage was the place I was stuck in for over 3 hours during my first labor... The staff was so unpleasant and noone gave two hoots about my having severe back-labor pains my first time. They forced me to lay on my back despite the backlabor pain. I hated Triage. I hated Triage. The first time around....

FORTUNATELY enough, my second labor experience was not as unbearable. It wasn't great, but I was determined to just stay on my butt still for 20 minutes no matter how excruciating the pain got. I was determined to gain entry into that birthing center ASAP (Damnit!) so I could move the labor along without the heartache and stress that I had experienced the first time around.

The resident who checked and monitored me was sweet but she obviously didnt know what she was doing. That was annoying, and I could have easily freaked (I definitely would've freaked if it was my first time), but I stayed calm and kept a smile on my face and decided to laugh thru the tribulation. As she checked to see how dilated I was, she said I was 6cm but had a confused look on her face. Ok, lady. Are you sure I'm 6cms? Now what? Let me into the birthing center now!! (please?) It took her a good 10 minutes or so to get another more senior doctor to come check me. I don't really like having to get checked out twice, if it's unnecessary, you know... Alas, the second doctor confirmed I was indeed 6cms... and I was immediately wheeled over into the birthing center. YES!!!!! SUCCESS!!!

Now, to provide some context into my philosophy on birthing.... I am 100% for the natural, drug-free birth, where ever and when ever it is possible. I truly do believe that women have been severely misinformed about birthing in our culture. We've been conditioned to believe that giving birth with medical intervention should be an obvious choice. Some even believe that women who choose to do without being medicated are crazy to 'want' to subject themselves to the pain of child birth. Women like me who actively seek and endure a natural birth are not crazy. In fact, most moms I have spoken to go into the labor & delivery room with birthing plans that outline how they would like to birth with minimal/no intervention.

Up until the 32nd week of my first pregnancy with Owen, I was of the school of thought that birthing naturally is only for the insane. Sure, minimal intervention is great. But the trade-off of being in excruciating pain vs. not so much pain.... hmmm...not a tough choice to decide between the two, especially when the contractions start to onset..

But here are a few things I considered when I decided to go natural:

• Fear of intervention: Intervention often leads to more intervention. Epidurals slow down labor, so if you get one too early on, labor may not progress "fast enough" in which case, you may be pushed to accept a dose (or more) of pitocin. That's already two kinds of drugs I didn't want to put into my body in the first place. I was ultimately trying to avoid getting a c-section, when I decided to go natural.
• Birthing is Natural: The process of laboring & delivering is not an illness! Giving birth is a natural process. The woman's body knows better than modern medicine when it comes to knowing what should happen next. My body was wise enough to grow and facilitate life for my baby. I'm sure it will tell me how to deliver that baby better than science can.
• Instinct: I could push on my own terms. I don't need a doctor to tell me when to push, when not to push based on what a monitor on the screen is telling her (though I have to say, right at the end when you're crowning, it definitely helps to listen to your doctor when they tell you not to push).
• Mobility: I liked the idea of not being tied down to machines. I'm a firm believer that when it comes to laboring, laying down on a bed isnt the optimal position. The baby is constantly moving around, even more so during the actual labor. How can I be at my most comfortable position when I'm stuck on a bed? I felt the most comfortable when I was free to move about. Sometimes walking worked best.. some times sitting.... and other times, laying down... having a natural birth allowed me to be able to move about freely depending on how the baby led.

... these among many other reasons for why I was so adamant about doing it naturally the second time around too.

Once I managed to get accepted into the birthing center, I just took in each contraction and applauded myself after each one for overcoming. James did a great job at coaching me through it too, especially during the transition phase when I was shaking and shivering... (luckily, not all women have this shaky painful reaction to the contractions). At around 5am, I felt the need to bear down. This labor was exponentially shorter than my first, so I kept asking... "THIS IS IT? No, It can't be...Are you sure the baby's going to be here now??" haha.. I guess this was the first time I actually questioned myself. I was told that I was laughing through the whole thing and the nurses thought it was hilarious that I was still laughing, just before I had to push.

I hate pushing. I'm a bad pusher. If there is one thing in life that I suck at, it is pushing. I don't understand it when some of my girlfriends say they pushed twice and the baby just came out. It took me an hour and a half the first time. The second time, It took me 30-minutes. It was a long 30-minutes. I was very glad when it was over.

And then the moment came. Baby entered the world, Daddy cut the cord and Baby Elliot was placed onto my belly, into my arms! There really isn't any feeling like that in the world. I don't think there is a word for the kind of thing. It's beyond euphoric and it's a feeling you can never forget. In that moment, everything is magnificent, beautiful, perfect... so perfect!